Sad time for Brandon and Jonathan

[sugarplumkitty]

Grandma Jean had emergency surgery for an intestinal blockage on Sunday. She did not do well with it. Jonathan called me yesterday while I was at lunch, having accidently left my cell phone on my desk, and left me a message that she was in the hospital in Walnut Creek, was dying and to call him back right away. I called. No answer. Left a message to please call me.

My coworkers asked if I needed to go. I said I didn't know. If Jonathan needed a ride to the hospital, then yes but I didn't know if he did or not. He didn't call back. I left another message asking him to please call me to tell me if he needed a ride or not because I was afraid to start a project on my task list and have to leave it half done.

He finally called me back. He was already at the hospital. I know from experience that only immediate family members are allowed in, so even though I would have liked to be there, it wasn't my place to go. He said she wasn't responding to people and he was upset that he didn't get to talk to her one last time. The last thing she'd said was "Hi" to him when he got there. He tried to shrug it off by saying it wouldn't be the first time for that. I told him people in comas can often hear what people say but just can't respond. He should pour his heart out. She'd probably hear him. I think I heard relief in his voice. I asked him to tell her I send my love if he got to see her one more time before she left.

He said he'd been leaving messages for Brandon but Brandon wasn't answering his phone. Well, this is the first week of school and Brandon probably has his phone turned off when he's in class. He also can't get his bluetooth headset to work with his phone now that he reprogrammed it to work with his computer so he can't answer the phone in the car. I told J that I'd try to reach Brandon.

It didn't occur to me to ask which hospital Grandma Jean was in. When I finally talked to Brandon, he said he wanted to go but didn't know where to go. J hadn't given him the hospital name, either. I had put a tech support call on hold to talk to Brandon and told him as soon as I finished the call I'd find out and call him back. I called three different hospitals in Walnut Creek before I found it. They wouldn't give me any other phone numbers because of the immediate family only rules. I told the operator I was calling for her grandson who was trying to find out where to go. Her voice softened.

I called Brandon and gave him the number I'd just called telling him to ask to talk to the nursing station or a family member to see if there was any point in driving over an hour away at rush hour. Apparently there was. He was gone when I got home. We went to bed around 11pm and he wasn't back yet. He was sleeping on the couch when I got up this morning. He has classes to attend today or be dropped from the course. This isn't good timing for him, poor guy.

At J's graduation party, I had a feeling it might be the last time I'd see Grandma Jean. I know my cousin Judy has issues with her because her Eric ran home to Mommy for every decision and it frustrated Judy to no end. J has hinted that Grandma Jean didn't think Judy was the right wife for her son. That's so sad. If they'd only gotten to know each other in other circumstances, they probably would have been great friends. Grandma Jean rocks! She was a member of the Black Panthers back in the 60's because she believed in their cause. I've come to love her very much.

With Grandma and Uncle Mark This is not the uncle who tried to raise them.

It was a miracle she'd lived this long. Before the accident, Judy told me she'd been diagnosed with a blood disorder that would take her in less than two years. After the accident, Grandma Jean was designated to manage the trust for the boys and was determined to make sure they were taken care of, educated on handling money, and had the best possible educations. She managed to live to see both of them become adults.

Yesterday, they expected her to go in hours. She'd refused life support. I don't know if she's gone or not. She was a very strong lady. I'm going to miss her.

Comments

[emilybrianne.livejournal.com]

My heart goes out to all of you.  I learned myself very recently that an anticipated death isn't any easier to come to terms with than an unexpected one. 

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

She's still hanging on.

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

The news was late coming to us. She died this afternoon.

[sweet-byrd.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *hugs back* She's not gone yet.

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

Actually, I didn't have the latest info yet. She left us this afternoon.

[cult-status.livejournal.com]

Love to all of you -- like the first comment said, even when it's expected, it's not any easier. I'm glad you encouraged J to talk to her despite being unresponsive. My grandma was labeled unresponsive when she was in hospice, but she still reacted to my piano music when it was played for her.

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *love back* Grandma Jean is a strong lady. She's still hanging on.

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

I replied too soon. She was gone when I typed that.

[melleecat.livejournal.com]

Oh, my condolences and hugs to you. Words seem so inadequate at times like this, but my heart goes out to all of you! (((uber hugs)))

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

Thanks. (((uber hugs back))) She's still here, in a coma, but still hanging on.

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

I replied too soon. She was gone when I typed that.

[chaquir.livejournal.com]

(((hugs))) I'm sorry to hear this Linda.
You're all in my thoughts.

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

Thanks. She's still alive today. Still in a coma.

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

I replied too soon. She's gone.

[chaquir.livejournal.com]

i'm sorry Linda. My condolences.

(((hugs)))

[yeoww.livejournal.com]

You're in my thoughts.

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

Thanks. She passed this afternoon.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lindz/]

*hugs* i'm so sorry.

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* Thanks.