sugarplumkitty | Bummer birthday

Eric said it was really bad timing for Braticus to die the day before my birthday. "That's life," I told him.

But it did make for a joyless birthday. I had wanted to go to the beach to tidepool and wade in the ocean but the day was too nice. I hate the backup over the Santa Cruz mountains. I wasn't in the mood for crowds. So I sat at home, did some laundry and played Sims2 most of the day. There's still more to do in the "rat" room, but I chose not to do it on my birthday. I still need to find the food dish that belongs in the "door" I left open for him all the time. His cage had two food dishes. Since I only needed one for him and the way the cage fit on my desk the regular door was dangerous to leave open, he went in and out through the other food dish hole. Two years later, I don't know where that dish is. It's in the computer room somewhere. I just have to go through all the boxes and bags of stuff to find it. The boxes I knew held rat stuff have been cleared out. Most of the blankets and cheap washcloths I used for him are washed and folded. They're pretty ragged, as anything chewable within rat reach will be. He liked to chew peep holes in them to keep an eye on the outside world.

My mom called on Saturday to ask what we had planned for my birthday. She was sympathetic at first then was quite tactless and let her predjudice show by saying, "It's really better that he's gone." She doesn't like rats and doesn't think they should be pets. That hurt so deeply that I was speechless. She picked up on the silence and didn't say anything else about it. I realize she has no idea how sweet, loving and smart a rat can be. A lot of people don't. I tried not to give in to anger because I know she doesn't understand. I told her I know she doesn't think a rat can be a good pet but I loved him and he loved me and I'm very sad that he's gone. That I'm really going to miss him.

I got off the phone, pissed off. I want to send her an email of all those cute pictures of him. She's never seen him. She never met him to be charmed by his sweetness. She was terrified that I might bring him over to her house. Maybe she has a phobia, I don't know. I know as a kid, rodents were on the "not allowed" list of pets. I wanted to tell her that saying it's better that he's gone is like when my Aunt said it was better that her grandson's new wife was killed in a typhoon because she wasn't white. That pissed Mom off back then.

But the truth is, she just doesn't get it. It's ignorance. Plus, I really need the birthday money she was giving me to buy new clothes for my new job. My clothes are all old or not appropriate.

I may send her that email just to try to enlighten her.

We went out to Krung Thai for dinner last night. It was a late dinner because my sister was flying in from her week with her 50-something online community in Savannah, Georgia and wanted to be there. For once, everyone enjoyed their meal. Mom now knows she likes Thai food. Her favorite dish is mine also, Pad Thai. We had dessert there because it was late and people had to go to work today. ugh. Too full. My sister had given me an early birthday present of money to spend at Disneyland, so I wasn't expecting anything from her. She bought me a pillow on her trip that says, "I'm laughing because I'm your sister and there's nothing you can do about it." Which is funny, because she's conventional and socially ept when I'm the one who does weird things and commits social faux paus all the time. I told her I'd been tempted to buy the same thing for her! LOL

Mom gave me a card with shopping money and an inexpensive diamond bracelet and earrings. They're gold plate so I can wear them for short periods only due to my cheap metal allergy. I'll be fine if I don't wear the gold plate off. Heh, it's not like I go anyplace fancy enough to wear stuff like that very often anyway. Getting Eric dressed up is such a big battle that I don't bother.

My nephew Mike was there. He's leaving for Nicaragua on Tuesday. His fiancee is there already. The class she's TAing for didn't get enough students to need Mike as a TA, but he's going to tag along anyway. He'll be back in August. No word on where Chris was. He's probably in a bike race somewhere.

Thankfully, nobody mentioned Braticus at dinner. I wonder if Eric warned them not to when I took the pillow out to the car right after we got there. If he did, I'm glad. It makes it easier to compartmentalize my life if there are no reminders.

With the salad Mom ordered, there was an orchid on the plate. Each dessert came with an orchid. People gave theirs to me. I collected them all. I didn't tell them what I planned to do the them. Mom doesn't know she donated her orchid to a rat grave. HA! I had 7 of them. Just enough to make a little orchid heart.

Oh well, I'm supposed to be in Sausalito very soon to try to pay off my debt.