RIP Terri Shiavo

[sugarplumkitty]

I haven't posted on this until now. My opinion? I wouldn't want to live that way. My hubby wouldn't want to live that way. We're clear on that. My family is of the same opinion for themselves. We've all been clear on that since my older grandmother was dying in 1987. No extraordinary life-lengthening measures unless there was hope of recovery. No hope? If the person wasn't on any machines, don't hook them up. If they were, disconnect and let the person go. We all have a horror of being trapped in an unresponsive body.

The second from the last night Gramma was alive, I spent the night with her to hold off the crash cart if she started to die. She was in the hospital because a tumor had erupted through her skin at the nursing home. She was 92 and had been impaired by a major stroke five years before. Even though she had a living will on file, the hospital was legally forced to try to revive her unless they had a document with all of Gramma's kids signatures and the doctor's signature saying not to. My aunt from Sacramento had rushed out to sign it but the doctor was already gone for the day. My instructions were to wait ten minutes after Gramma stopped breathing to let the nurses know she was gone so there'd be no chance they could revive her. If push came to shove and they found out sooner, I was prepared to become a human pitbull to hold them off that long. Gramma was more lucid that night than she'd been since her stroke. We snuggled and talked all night. I was SO glad I'd volunteered to be there. The doctor signed off on the DNR the next morning. She slipped into a coma the that afternoon and died peacefully early the following morning.

But for Terri, I don't know. My wishes for myself don't translate to a desire to treat others the same way unless I'm clear on their wishes. Every person should decide their own fate, whenever possible. Some people are terrified of dying and want to cling to every second, no matter what.

I didn't know Terri. Some of the stories made me wonder just how much of the truth was really out there. Eric and I both wondered if they'd done a PET scan on her while showing her pictures or asking her questions. You know, the scans where they can see how much of the brain is functioning and where? Even a lie detector might have shed some light on just how damaged her brain was. Was she still there but unable to communicate? If they'd done a scan while asking her questions, first some control questions to get reactions to positive and negative brain signals and then the all important ones to see if she reacted one way or the other, would they have been able to find out what SHE wanted? That question haunts me. Maybe the autopsy will reveal some of the answers, but I don't think we'll ever know the real truth.

I'm just glad her suffering is over.

Comments

[alessandrastarr.livejournal.com]

This is now something I have to talk to my fiancee about. I know what he wants done if he dies, but not if he is in a situation like this.

[flurgh.livejournal.com]

I had the misfortune of flipping past MSNBC, CNN and the like. They're STILL debating about it. I wish they would give it up already. This whole thing has been so very... wrong. I do think that they finally did the right thing by letting her go (or at least what was left of her).

[donnickcottage.livejournal.com]

I think this, and this is just my opinion lass, I mostly agree with you in spirit. Only those who feel that their personal decisions should be inspected and interpreted by a few million people given mostly incomplete, partially biased, sometimes created information by companies that have a vested interest in increasing their circulation/viewerships... should have an opinion on the case at hand. It was never our business, and it still isn't, unless of course we are now going to make justifiable our right to pry into anyone's life at will. Though it's not my purview I have to imagine, having been the brother of someone in what amounted to a persistent vegitative state for 17 years, that in her 15 years in a virtual coma every test imaginable was done on her, if for no other reason than to keep the hospital's profit margin in the black.

There is only this. We believe her husband or we don't. If we do, case closed. If we choose to second guess him without absolute proof that he's lying, prepare to be second guessed on your next substantive move by a population just itching to call you a liar.

I hope that didn't sound abrasive, I didn't mean it to be. I just don't like the way we're going as a civilization, and I choose to not participate as often as I can get away with it.

[sugarplumkitty.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're abrasive at all. I don't really need to decide which was a better option in this case because you're right, it's not my decision to make. With the constant barrage of her story in the news, I found it impossible not to care and to wonder what if?

[donnickcottage.livejournal.com]

Yea, the press is like a starving mongrel; whenever it gets its teeth into something it's relentless, even if the something is inedible. It was hard to avoid, true that.