My mind has turned to mush. Anyone else?

Arrrgh!  this thing ate my post!  OK, I'll type the derned thing again.

About two and a half years ago, I was having so much trouble coping at work that I sought a psychiatrist to help me with meds.  I thought it was my ADD getting in the way.  He diagnosed me with depression *and* ADD.  We started by treating my depression with Effexor.  When that put me to sleep, we added Adderall to give me a bit more energy and something to help with my concentration problems.

My just wasn't as sharp as it had been.  I was having trouble understanding things I used to pick up in no time at all.  My memory had become crap, too.  It had never been great to start with, but it had gotten horrible.  I tried to blame the tough things happening in my life for my problems, but I think I knew all along that they were just excuses.  I didn't want to admit that I was losing my mental clarity.

This Java class I'm taking has made me face up to my diminished ability.  I'm having to work to understand things I used to simply pick up.  The mid-term I took last Tuesday took almost the entire test time to finish.  Back when I was learning languages in the 1980s, I was always among the first two or three to finish.  I maybe would miss one or two points on the tests.  This time I missed five out of 40.

I asked my hubby yesterday if he had noticed me being dumber than I used to be.  He laughed and asked if he'd notice.  We're both approaching 50 and losing the mental sharpness is part of aging.  He's been feeling that way too, but he hasn't noticed any difference in my mental sharpness.

But I know I'm not as sharp as I used to be.  It bugs me a lot.  Anyone else experiencing this?

*crossposted in my journal and in fortysomething

birth month meme

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. >Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.


RULES:
1. Put your birth month in an entry.
2. Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.
3. Bold the four that best apply to you.
4. Put all twelve months under a livejournal cut.

( All 12 months.. modified to include May )

explosion!

My hubby and I heard an explosion at about 8:15pm. We live near San Tomas Expressway and Stevens Creek in San Jose. There's nothing on the police scanner about it. I'm really worried about it and want info! Anyone else hear it or of it?

I just heard the police copter go over us. this is scary.